life

Because the Night

Are you a night owl or are you the early bird? What’s your most productive time of day? When do you do your best work?

Sleep. What an interesting topic.

As I am currently sitting here and writing this at ten o’clock at night, I think the answer to that is pretty clear: I am, most undoubtedly, a ‘night owl.’

I have never really been a ‘morning’ person, and perhaps partly due to my warped sleeping pattern, that is a time when I really cannot function very well. Which works absolutely great with the whole education system and expected sleeping times of normal humans.

I recently realised that there was actually a thing known as insomnia where you are unable to sleep and don’t get enough of it, which got me rather worried. The truth is, my entire brain is warped and the most productive time of day for me definitely some time in the evening or very late at night, such as right now. I can stay up super, super late on school nights, get up in time for school, and still be able to function okay throughout the day and even sit exams. I didn’t find anything wrong with this for a very long time, and didn’t really feel very motivated or understand the need to sleep. (And I am currently listening to the song Up All Night, which probably doesn’t really help matters.) My theory was that basically we as humans need about eight hours of sleep, so therefore spend a third of our lives induced in a coma-like state being unproductive. However, if I could somehow alter my way of life, I could ensure that I only get about six to seven hours of sleep and still be able to function. Which I have done over the course of the last few years. I thought that doing this would mean that I could get more out of life and have the time to spend my teenage years doing all those things I want to, such as read and write and finish shows. Of course, my plan did not exactly work as I expected, as I didn’t take into account the fact that this would mean I spend the majority of mornings in a state of hating everything and drowning out everything around me. Which put me completely back to square one, and now I am desperately trying to change my sleeping pattern to something that is somewhat normal, and attempt to sleep before twelve everyday.

Which is why I am going to stop writing now, and maybe make an effort to try and sleep earlier. Because that is definitely going to happen.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/because-the-night/

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Dust in the Wind

Have you made your bucket list? Now’s the time — write about the things you want to do and see before you become dust in the wind.

I waited a while before doing this, because there was a time where I was obsessed with the idea of leaving behind a mark and having a fulfilling life before dying. Actually, no, that’s a lie. One of the main things I constantly think about are ways which I can ensure I die at the right time. The ‘right’ time being on my own terms: because I am 100% ready to leave this world.

This list is about to get very, very long, and I have included many things from a bucket list I made a few years ago, some of which I have already done. They range from insanely deep, to insanely improbable. Many of these are completely stupid and just things I want to actually do one day. As for the others, I am pretty certain they will never, ever be able to be achieved (Possibly because they are merely in the mind.). But far-fetched as they seem, we’ve all been constantly taught to dream, right?

So here goes (in no particular order) a list of things I want to do one day:

  • Finish all the books on my constantly-increasing to-read list
  • Meet an author of one of my favourite books
  • Meet someone from BBC Sherlock
  • Meet someone from one of my favourite TV show/movies
  • Finish a 10,000 word fanfic
  • Write and publish a novel
  • Compose a song with lyrics, chords, bass lines etc.
  • Dye my hair purple
  • Understand the meaning of having a best friend
  • Fall in love
  • Jump off a cliff
  • Go up on a downwards escalator or vice-versa
  • Stared in the face of death
  • Learn Latin
  • Learn Greek
  • Go to a pop concert
  • Be somewhat normal
  • Be fluent in multiple languages
  • Write a Tumblr theme from scratch
  • Learn how to put on makeup properly
  • Go to England
  • Own a house which I am proud of
  • Have one of those floor-to-ceiling libraries with a secret room
  • Have a grand staircases like in the Titanic and Hogwarts
  • Be proud of myself
  • Be able to look back and not regret everything
  • Be satisfied in life
  • Not hate the world
  • Write a will
  • And a suicide note. Just in case
  • Die when I want to
  • Be remembered
  • Go to a nice university
  • Travel somewhere with my best friend
  • Audition for some TV show
  • Kiss in the rain
  • Go to Starbucks
  • Go to every nice restaurant in my current town
  • Go to someone nice’s wedding
  • Stop being ‘depressed’
  • Learn archery
  • And fencing
  • Let people in
  • Go to a movie premier
  • Not lose touch of people who matter
  • Have enough money to be able to have the life I want
  • Learn the guitar
  • Learn the drums
  • Stop hating myself
  • Never swear
  • Or use incorrect grammar and spelling purposely
  • Control emotions and tears
  • Stop regretting stuff
  • Learn to make every moment in my life mean something
  • Leave something behind in this world

These are all I can think of for the present. I may or may not add more later; it really depends on whether I can be bothered or not!

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/dust-wind/

Saturday Night

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT! What’s your favorite way to spend Saturday night?

This topic amused me greatly, because I am currently sitting in bed on a Saturday night blogging about what I do on Saturday nights. Although technically speaking, it is currently past midnight where I am so it is Sunday morning, but let’s just not go there.

So what is my favourite way of spending Saturday nights?

As sad as it seems, I actually love it when I can just spend an entire evening sitting alone in my room with a huge stash of food and a stack of books to read, really good music, fast Internet, or loads of episodes of some show to marathon. And to be able to just eat what I want to without worrying about how disgustingly unhealthy I am and how I am going to hate myself later, and to read or blog or watch shows without thinking about the amount work I still have to do and should technically be doing, and how unproductive and lazy I am and how it’s not surprising I failed all of my exams last year. Oh, and also not worry about my lack of sleep and how screwed up my sleeping pattern is.

In conclusion, I haven’t ever had a ‘favourite’ Saturday night. But a girl can dream, right?

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/saturday-night/

Looking for Alaska by John Green

I’m not actually very sure how to do this, but I want to get back into blogging and I do enjoy writing book reviews so I am going to try and write one for books I’ve read and loved.

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I must confess that the first time I read this book, I did not like it. In the slightest. I hated Alaska, I hated Miles, I hated the Colonel; basically I just hated all of the characters. Now, normally when this happens I can still manage to enjoy the book, for example The Great Gatsby. But the first time I read it, I simply hated everything about them such as the way they talked and the way they acted and just couldn’t see the point of it at all.

But then my friends all started having a John Green obsession and asked to borrow it, and I figured since I had nothing else to read, I could try and reread it and see if the way I look at it is going to be different like it was when I reread The Fault in Our Stars.

And sure enough, that was the case.

I don’t know whether it is because I am currently going through an ‘I hate everything’ and a ‘What is the point of my existence’ phase, but this time round I guess I just really got the character of Alaska. I understood why she was the way she was; why she acted and talked that way. That didn’t really mean I liked her any more, but I started to see things about her which I could relate to and also see in myself. Which I don’t know whether or not I should be worried about.

In terms of book reviews, this is probably very, very awful considering the fact that it does not have a real structure whosoever and I am basically just writing down whatever thoughts come to my mind.

I think I should probably include a short plot summary, so basically here is the story.

A guy goes to a boarding school and meets a girl called Alaska. She’s funny, witty, outgoing; basically everything that he’s not. He falls in love with her, she has a boyfriend, they have some cute moments but are always reminded of the fact that she has someone, she finds him a girlfriend. They live happily ever after.

Okay, that’s not the ending. But I don’t really know how to put it without giving away any spoilers.

What I love/hate about the novel is that it finishes off without finding out exactly what happened to Alaska. And we are left wondering and wanting to know what happens but knowing that’s the end. And I guess that’s also how life is. I mean, there are some things that we will actually never, ever know despite how much we want to, but sometimes this is probably also for the best. Perhaps it is better that we are not certain of everything in this world and there is always more that we can find out for ourselves, or maybe not at all.

So to finish off with a deep quote, Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.’