personal

Greetings again…

Here I am, sitting in my room, trying my best to remember the reasons various chemicals react with each other, and just generally being really bored and frustrated about the entire concept of studying.

So what better way to procrastinate everything by casually making another post on something which I really very much gave up like, half a year ago?

And now I feel slightly creeped out about this whole ‘Let’s make some fancy legit blog’ thing, because so apparently lots of people now about this? And it’s like, ‘Wow, there is thing thing called the Internet, and there are actual people who can stalk and find and read all of this!’ I mean, not that anyone would actually be bothered, but it’s still vaguely creepy…

Like, no offence, but seriously how can some people honestly feel so comfortable about sharing every single aspect of their personal life on the Internet?

But I really need to decide what to do with this, like What is there that I can post/write about?

Book reviews are so much fun, but then it starts to feel A LOT like extra school work over time… And my life is way to boring to write about; I literally spend every holiday/weekend/after school/free time doing something school related like musical practices or robotics competitions or catching on my ridiculous amounts of school work. (Note to people: ‘It really isn’t a wise idea to take almost double the amount of subjects everyone else is. Just, don’t do it to yourself. Trust me’, I say as I plan to take the same amount next year…)

Like, I really want to write something really awesome and then become famous etc. off it like John Watson, and like it’s really cool how I see all these people who are ‘professional bloggers’ where they literally just buy nice nail polish and post pretty pictures on the Internet. I mean I do get that that would be really boring after time, but it would still be so cool to just write as like a side-hobby sort of thing? Except my slight problem of really really not wanting people to read anything of mine…

Or maybe I really should just give up this whole thing. And like, study and write songs and reblog pictures of Sherlock and read. You know, the stuff normal sixteen year olds do.

Not really.

But okay, it’s so weird because the only ‘blogging’ I’ve ever done is evidently on Tumblr, which is a predominantly young society (I’m pretty sure it’s mostly Twelvies through to people in their mid-twenties?). And then on here (I seriously mean no offence if anyone is actually reading this!) I just feel like it is actual, serious, people who aren’t doing this because they are bored and obsessed with leaving behind something after they die (Yes, I am talking about me), but rather as a hobby or to share legitimate feelings about the world (Which I guess I am sort of aiming to do?)

I really should go back to studying now…

So farewell, human beings.

Until next time,

Chloe.

Showdown at Big Sky

How do you handle conflict? Boldly and directly? Or, do you prefer a more subtle approach.

This for me, depends on the people who are involved and how extreme the said conflict is. There are usually two typical reactions from me when dealing with people whom I do not agree with:

  1. Tell myself that they are inferior human beings of no significance and therefore do not deserve me putting in the time and effort in stating the obvious to prove them wrong. 
  2. Plan out and correctly structure an entire argument in my mind describing the various points which they are definitely wrong and I am definitely right whilst acknowledging some counterpoints and destroying them, and then say all of this in one breath speaking as fast as I possibly can in order to lessen the amount of time where I have to speak and all attention is focussed on me.

I’m not sure whether these classify as either boldly or subtly, but whilst I do want to be direct the majority of the time, I tend to lengthen everything I say and think greatly, and try not to use contractions whenever possible. I also find it very, very hard to be ‘straight to the point,’ as proven in many situations. An example of the first thing that comes to mind right now was when (and I’m laughing whilst I think of this) my friends decided to randomly talk about me to a person who I did not know at all on their Facebook. This infuriated me a lot at the time, and therefore I spent about an hour writing an entire essay to both my friends and that person describing the situation and how much I hated and wanted to stab them all with a fork. It was only afterwards that my other friend pointed out I could have just explained everything in one sentence.

So I guess I am the more subtle approach sort of person, who drags on something and takes a very long time to get what I want to say across.

(I have started realising my awful tendency to join phrases together and write super long sentences which you need to either read really fast, or take an awkward breath/stop halfway…)

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/showdown-at-big-sky/

Because the Night

Are you a night owl or are you the early bird? What’s your most productive time of day? When do you do your best work?

Sleep. What an interesting topic.

As I am currently sitting here and writing this at ten o’clock at night, I think the answer to that is pretty clear: I am, most undoubtedly, a ‘night owl.’

I have never really been a ‘morning’ person, and perhaps partly due to my warped sleeping pattern, that is a time when I really cannot function very well. Which works absolutely great with the whole education system and expected sleeping times of normal humans.

I recently realised that there was actually a thing known as insomnia where you are unable to sleep and don’t get enough of it, which got me rather worried. The truth is, my entire brain is warped and the most productive time of day for me definitely some time in the evening or very late at night, such as right now. I can stay up super, super late on school nights, get up in time for school, and still be able to function okay throughout the day and even sit exams. I didn’t find anything wrong with this for a very long time, and didn’t really feel very motivated or understand the need to sleep. (And I am currently listening to the song Up All Night, which probably doesn’t really help matters.) My theory was that basically we as humans need about eight hours of sleep, so therefore spend a third of our lives induced in a coma-like state being unproductive. However, if I could somehow alter my way of life, I could ensure that I only get about six to seven hours of sleep and still be able to function. Which I have done over the course of the last few years. I thought that doing this would mean that I could get more out of life and have the time to spend my teenage years doing all those things I want to, such as read and write and finish shows. Of course, my plan did not exactly work as I expected, as I didn’t take into account the fact that this would mean I spend the majority of mornings in a state of hating everything and drowning out everything around me. Which put me completely back to square one, and now I am desperately trying to change my sleeping pattern to something that is somewhat normal, and attempt to sleep before twelve everyday.

Which is why I am going to stop writing now, and maybe make an effort to try and sleep earlier. Because that is definitely going to happen.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/because-the-night/

Dust in the Wind

Have you made your bucket list? Now’s the time — write about the things you want to do and see before you become dust in the wind.

I waited a while before doing this, because there was a time where I was obsessed with the idea of leaving behind a mark and having a fulfilling life before dying. Actually, no, that’s a lie. One of the main things I constantly think about are ways which I can ensure I die at the right time. The ‘right’ time being on my own terms: because I am 100% ready to leave this world.

This list is about to get very, very long, and I have included many things from a bucket list I made a few years ago, some of which I have already done. They range from insanely deep, to insanely improbable. Many of these are completely stupid and just things I want to actually do one day. As for the others, I am pretty certain they will never, ever be able to be achieved (Possibly because they are merely in the mind.). But far-fetched as they seem, we’ve all been constantly taught to dream, right?

So here goes (in no particular order) a list of things I want to do one day:

  • Finish all the books on my constantly-increasing to-read list
  • Meet an author of one of my favourite books
  • Meet someone from BBC Sherlock
  • Meet someone from one of my favourite TV show/movies
  • Finish a 10,000 word fanfic
  • Write and publish a novel
  • Compose a song with lyrics, chords, bass lines etc.
  • Dye my hair purple
  • Understand the meaning of having a best friend
  • Fall in love
  • Jump off a cliff
  • Go up on a downwards escalator or vice-versa
  • Stared in the face of death
  • Learn Latin
  • Learn Greek
  • Go to a pop concert
  • Be somewhat normal
  • Be fluent in multiple languages
  • Write a Tumblr theme from scratch
  • Learn how to put on makeup properly
  • Go to England
  • Own a house which I am proud of
  • Have one of those floor-to-ceiling libraries with a secret room
  • Have a grand staircases like in the Titanic and Hogwarts
  • Be proud of myself
  • Be able to look back and not regret everything
  • Be satisfied in life
  • Not hate the world
  • Write a will
  • And a suicide note. Just in case
  • Die when I want to
  • Be remembered
  • Go to a nice university
  • Travel somewhere with my best friend
  • Audition for some TV show
  • Kiss in the rain
  • Go to Starbucks
  • Go to every nice restaurant in my current town
  • Go to someone nice’s wedding
  • Stop being ‘depressed’
  • Learn archery
  • And fencing
  • Let people in
  • Go to a movie premier
  • Not lose touch of people who matter
  • Have enough money to be able to have the life I want
  • Learn the guitar
  • Learn the drums
  • Stop hating myself
  • Never swear
  • Or use incorrect grammar and spelling purposely
  • Control emotions and tears
  • Stop regretting stuff
  • Learn to make every moment in my life mean something
  • Leave something behind in this world

These are all I can think of for the present. I may or may not add more later; it really depends on whether I can be bothered or not!

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/dust-wind/

Saturday Night

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT! What’s your favorite way to spend Saturday night?

This topic amused me greatly, because I am currently sitting in bed on a Saturday night blogging about what I do on Saturday nights. Although technically speaking, it is currently past midnight where I am so it is Sunday morning, but let’s just not go there.

So what is my favourite way of spending Saturday nights?

As sad as it seems, I actually love it when I can just spend an entire evening sitting alone in my room with a huge stash of food and a stack of books to read, really good music, fast Internet, or loads of episodes of some show to marathon. And to be able to just eat what I want to without worrying about how disgustingly unhealthy I am and how I am going to hate myself later, and to read or blog or watch shows without thinking about the amount work I still have to do and should technically be doing, and how unproductive and lazy I am and how it’s not surprising I failed all of my exams last year. Oh, and also not worry about my lack of sleep and how screwed up my sleeping pattern is.

In conclusion, I haven’t ever had a ‘favourite’ Saturday night. But a girl can dream, right?

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/saturday-night/